Positivity Makes all the Difference March 24, 2021 – Posted in: Blog Articles
How many times have we heard people say, “be positive!”?
Many times, I am sure.
I often think though that if someone is predisposed to being negative or less positive then how do those people even know what being positive means?
As a mum when my children were young, I often used to say to them “just be good”.
When I think back, I often wonder if they thought I was from a different planet.
Why?
Because telling a child to ‘be good’ leaves them more than a little confused. Until you are more explicit in what you are defining as good, they don’t have a cat in hells chance of being able to please you.
It’s the same with ‘be positive’. Until we can paint a picture of what life can be like when you are positive the words are meaningless.
Positivity is: “The practice of being or tendency to be positive or optimistic in attitude.” (Oxford English Dictionary)
The key word being ‘practice’ but I like to call it a habit. Did you know that it takes as little as 21 days to form a habit that when practiced every day the habit becomes automatic?
So, the good news is practiced every day to take a more optimistic view of the world positivity can become an automatic response. It’s all about neural pathways.
But being a positive person is hard in adversity, for instance during the pandemic we have seen a sharp rise in people needing more emotional support for mental health than any other time in our history.
Being positive or optimistic at different stages of our lives can be harder during a period of depression, loss or fear.
So, how do we start to become a more positive and optimistic thinker? Here are some ways that I use with my clients, these ways are just a few that you can find out there, but I get results every time with these tips, carried out consistently everyday for 21 days or more.
Practice Being Grateful
When we show gratitude, we open the door to more goodness. It’s the way it works. Whatever we focus on we get more of. Have you ever thought about buying a new red car in a certain make or model? Then seen the ideal car whizzing past you each time you are out? Well, that is energy of thought. Where your focus goes, energy flows.
That’s exactly why we have to be thankful for all the good things in your life, your home, the relationships you love, the people that you value, the food you have, the kindness someone has shown you, the air, the sky, your ability to love, speak, feel.
Even for the annoying things like the bills that pop through the door, be grateful because someone has given you the opportunity to use that facility and pay afterwards, trust and care and good grace has been offered to you so accept and be grateful.
Practice Mindfulness
Take a few moments every day to be completely in the moment. Be aware of the present, your thoughts, your feelings. Focus on the here and now. Feel the chair behind your back, the floor beneath your feet. Listen to the birds outside or a car passing your house. Listen to the silence of your mind. If thoughts pop into your mind let them leave without you judging or feeling those thoughts, just let them pass.
This helps you to reset your mind so that you can focus on tasks in hand in a more clear and productive way.
Practice Actively Habit Changing
Be aware that when you think a negative thought you are using a neural pathway, that you have been carving out for a long time, that’s the habit. So, you have to create new neural pathways.
Remember the ‘turn that frown upside down’? Well, it’s the same here. Take the negative thought and change it, turn it upside down.
“I can’t do this, I am useless at anything to do with tech, I hate computers”
turn it upside down:
“I can do this, I have achieved so many great things (remind yourself what they are) I am good at learning new things, (remind yourself what they are) I love that computers are so versatile and help me with everything I need to do with tech”
Practice makes perfect, so don’t give up.